Jul 25, 2008

Chronicles of Single-Parenthood, Day 5



We made it! 5 days without Daddy and boy will we love having him home tonight!

This really has nothing to do with single-parenthood, but everything to do with how you raise kids.

How do you raise a timid child?

None of my children have ever been a cling to your skirt breed. They are all very free spirited and independent. Since Silas was a baby, he would turn heads with his pudgy little smile. It's like people are drawn to him. I never have to worry about taking him to playgroup where he is the oldest; he always makes friends with such ease. I guess that he is a natural leader. I can remember sitting in story time at the library and watching all of the kids snuggle up in their mother's laps, listening and surveying what was going on around them. Burying their faces in their momma's chests. Not Gavin...he would go plop himself right in front of the librarian and offer his commentary on the story (much like at home). When we go to the water park, Amelia runs with wild abandon out into the water; giggling with glee. Other kids timidly play by their mother's feet or refuse to get down from their protective grasp. Mine scatter in 10 different directions.

At the birthday party the other night, a Dad had to take his daughter home because "she was too distraught with all of the noise and splashing at the pool." I can't even begin to imagine coddling my kids like that. How will she ever experience life if she is immediately removed from uncomfortable situations? Is it nature or nurture? Are kids born timid or outgoing? I guess my point is that my parenting style; although not nearly perfect would seem to support an outgoing child more than a timid one. I wonder what will happen if Tucker ends up being a cling to your skirts kind of kid? I wonder if I would whisk him away to "safety" or take his hand and guide him through?

I also wonder what other moms think of my parenting style? Do they scoff at how I let the kids foster their independence? Do they think I am a "bad parent" for letting the kids brush themselves off from a fall rather than rushing to them?

One mom commented on how she thought I was so lucky to have such great kids. That they were just like an extension of me. Part of my arms. They go out from me, but always come back. Maybe the answer will come with the type of adults the kids turn out to be. The problem then is that it will be too late to try to raise them differently.

2 comments:

Laura said...

I think there's a difference of coddling and recognizing that a child is more introverted and helping the get away. It's not a bad thing to do this. It's not a bad thing to be introverted. We, as parents, just need to help our kids find that healthy balance, while allowing them to be themself at the same time.

Stephanie said...

Yay you made it!! I am the same tipe of mom and you. The kids do their thing. I don't know how I would handle a timid child. But I do agree that all children need to learn to deal with different types of situations.